High Functioning-But Hurting

Question!  Who are you when you are no longer performing in strength?

This question hits hard!!  Oftentimes, just because some individuals are productive, successful and smiling, it does not mean that they are emotionally well.  There is a huge difference between coping and healing.  When individuals cope, they are doing something to get through the emotional distress they are currently feeling.  This could look like being overly engulfed in work, perfectionism, people-pleasing, shutting down emotionally or being hyper-independent.  

Many professionals hide emotional pain because there is an expectation “to perform”, they hide behind titles and personas.  Never living as their true selves.  Many have experienced pain that stripped them of who they are.  They’ve lost their identity, the core of their true being.  Now, the job, the title, the community service, their religion became their identity.  

WHY?  It’s difficult to sit with their true self.  Pain lives there.

WHY? There are cultural expectations around strength.

WHY? There is “pressure” to keep it together.

WHY? Survival mode has been disguised as ambition.

This is a sign of unresolved trauma.  When trauma is left untouched, it impacts relationships, sleeping patterns, eating patterns, parenting and emotional regulation. Signs that you may be silently struggling:

1. You smile in public but feel emotionally exhausted in private

2. You stay busy because slowing down feels uncomfortable

3. You are constantly helping others while neglecting yourself 

4. You minimize your own pain because “others have it worse” 

5. You cry less — not because you healed, but because you shut down 

6. You use work, social media, food, shopping, or distractions to avoid emotions 

7. You fear being perceived as weak 

8. Your body feels tired even after sleeping 

Healing looks like taking the time to check in with yourself, identifying and naming what you are feeling and experiencing, allowing yourself to sit in the discomfort, being honest with yourself, adjusting your mindset by creating a new meaning and executing a plan for yourself. 

Some people carry pain so quietly that others only see their productivity, never their exhaustion. High functioning does not mean you are healthy. It’s time to move from performance to authenticity.

Identify Your Emotions, Seek Therapy, Set Boundaries, Get Rest and Establish a Support System.

“When life applied pressure, you learned to survive. Now it’s time to heal

“Healing the Heart. Elevating the Soul.”

Patrice McBeath-Lock